"Her face as it was then has been overlaid in my memory by the faces she had later. If I see her in my mind's eye as she was then. she doesn't have a face at all, and I have to reconstruct it. High forehead, high cheekbones, pale blue eyes. full lips that formed a perfect curve without any indentation, square chin. A broad-planed, strongly, womanly face. I know that I found it beautiful. But I cannot recapture its beauty." (pg. 12)
This passage relates to how the main character, a fifteen year old sickly boy, perceives the woman whom he is strongly attracted to. He describes the detail of her face as she is conducting different chores and it shows how observant he is to specifically her face. Interestingly enough, he doesn't focus on the other parts of her body, her voice, or what she says to him. His memory of the woman's face is constantly changing as he observes her different facial expressions and different movements. It seems like he doesn't have a fixed image of her, but rather reconstructs the image every time he observes her face. He perceives the woman's face as so beautiful that his mind can't capture her beauty in a single image, he only knows for sure that her face is beautiful. Even though he is attracted her strong, womanly face, he's not really in love with the picture of her face, but more of the present moment when he is actually observing her face. It's not like falling in love with a pretty girl in a picture, but falling in love with who she is when he observes her in the moment.
"I don't mean to say that thinking and reaching decisions have no influence on behavior. But behavior does not merely enact whatever has been thought through and decided. It has its own sources, and is my behavior, quite independently, just as my thoughts are my thoughts, and my decisions my decisions." (pg. 20)
What I find most interesting about this passage is how his thought-process and decision making contradict his behavior and what he ends up choosing to do. Generally, our decision making process determines what we decide to do and our behavior, but rarely do we turn away from what we have planned to do. His thought process reflects his rationalization of his behavior and his thoughts. I think his unique cognitive process is what characterizes his relationship with the woman. They don't seem to be bonding in a friendship by getting to know each other with conversations, but just by meeting each other and by observing each other. When he is away from the woman, he is vividly fantasizing about her through guilty pleasures but in reality he doesn't have the courage to truly express himself with her. I'm really interested as to how their relationship will progress because it seems like they're not really communicating with each other when there is a clearly an attraction between them.
Great start to your blog, Ameera. You're striking a great balance between personal reflection and analysis. =)
ReplyDeleteThe first quote you chose to analyze is actually really similar to the quotes i chose. Your analysis was really interesting as you talked about how Michael wasn't able to reconstruct her face, not because of something that happened later on in the book, but because Hanna's face was simply too beautiful to remember. I also really like your idea about how he isn't really in love with Hanna's face but rather the period of time it represents.
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