Finally in Chapter 1939 the readers are exposed to a more intimate insight into Sula's mind. What I liked most about this chapter was understanding how Sula thought of Nel instead of strictly Nel's views on Sula. I wasn't surprised at Sula's indifference or her selfishness because of the women who shaped her to become the woman she is now. It becomes clear that the turning point for Sula's apathy was when Hannah claimed she never liked her thus she Sula found no reason to ever please others if her own mom didn't like her. So I think that explains why she Sula had no issue sleeping with Jude. In fact, Sula seemed confused with Nel's anger because she always felt that Nel had always "seen through" the women who only seek the sexual approval of men:
"But she and Nel had always seen through them. They both knew that those women were not jealous of other women; that they were only afraid of losing their jobs. Afraid their husbands would discover than no uniqueness lay between their legs." (119)
The main difference between Nel and Sula was the concept of possessiveness and their idea of love, but Sula's relationship with Ajax made me think that Sula was really no different than Nel. Sula just happened to crave a different type of man than Nel, she wanted someone who could see her eye to eye instead of looking down at her as an inferior. Ajax eventually embodied the very thing that Sula craved for, and there she finally understood Nel's possessiveness towards Jude: "Sula began to discover what possession was. Not love, perhaps, but possession or at least the desire for it". (131)
I felt like Ajax was essentially the male version of Sula, he wanted a woman who was independent and indifferent to societal expectations. I feel like both Sula and Ajax shared the same dislike for commitment and everything that marriage required. They both wanted an intimate relationship but was afraid of having their hearts chained to each other until death do them apart. I was surprised that Sula began to develop a feeling of possessiveness for him but it didn't surprise me that Ajax left her.
"In her words, in her voice, was a sound he knew well. For the first time he saw the green ribbon. He looked around and saw the gleaming kitchen and the table set for two and detective the scent of the nest. Every hackle on his body rose...His eyes dimmed with a mild and momentary regret." (133)
This quote portrays that Sula fell in love with him because of the "nest" she built around him, indicating that she was already too attached and never wanted him to leave. The "nest" is basically identical to how a married woman would care for her husband, like how Nel took care of Jude. There was definitely a contrast in the way Ajax left Sula compared to Jude leaving Nel. Sula "could find nothing, for he had left nothing but his stunning absence" while Jude's yellow tie was left behind for Nel as a reminder of his absence. (134)
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